If your league is still in the dark ages and holds its Super Bowl in week 17, shame on you. FLootball sentences you to public punishment in the town square.... let's say 20 lashes. But never fear, for we at FLootball are a forgiving sort, and JUST FOR THIS YEAR, we will help you figure out who to start in week 17... after your beating.
And the best way to go about doing this is to see which teams have post-season hopes to play for. The rest is a freakin' crap shoot, so good luck with that.
1. Start ur Cowboys- Yehaaw, Hitch your ride to the Cowboys players' horse wagon in week 17, cause' they're playin' for their playoff lives... and their livelihoods. With a win, they are in, if they lose they are out. It's that simple. The Boys also have the added pressure of needing to appease "The Great Herder In The Sky" (Jerry Jones) with a victory or else there will be no rain, and with no rain the fall harvest will fail next year (I bet you didn't know the Cowboys of the old west had their own gods did you?).
Oh, and if they lose Coach Garrett will get fired and Romo might get the boot. So they've got a lot to play for.
Start: Tony Romo, Dez Bryant, Jason Witten, Miles Austin, and DeMarco Murray
2. Start ur Vikings- This should really be titled "Start ur Adrian Peterson", because there really aren't any other Vikings players worth starting other than him regardless of the playoff situation. I guess Kyle Rudolph. Anyway, the Vikings have to win this weekend to get in the playoffs, because they would need an ungodly amount of help from other teams to get in otherwise. I won't go into what they would need to have happen but I think it' s along the lines of: they would need the Bears to lose, Redskins to tie, and the Giants players to unanimously vote to secede from the NFL, or something like that. There are a ton of other places you can get that info. Besides being a must win, Adrian Peterson is still gunning for Dickerson's all-time rushing record, so you know he will get the rock.
Start: Adrian Peterson, Kyle Rudolph
3. Start ur Redskins- The Redskins, like the Vikings, have a lot riding on their game against the Cowboys this week. If they win, they are in. If they are out, then they are gonna need all kinds of crazy crap to happen for them to get in. So they are all in. However, RGIII still has a gimpy ankle, and the Cowboys will be playing their brains out to stay in playoff contention. So it' s a tough matchup. Regardless, don' t bench your Skins'.
Start: RGIII, Pierre Garcon, Alfred Morris
4. Start ur Texans- The Texans freakin' sucked rotten eggs against the Vikings in week 16. Matt Schaub and Arian Foster combined for about 7 fantasy points, which probably killed any team in your league that had those two bums in their lineup. But if there are still some shaub/foster owners out there that survived the week 16 massacre, you gotta start those guys in week 17. It' s crazy how much playoff seeding power the Texans possess. If they lose, the AFC playoff seeding scenarios would get all changed up; the Texans could even drop as far as the #3 seed in the AFC. But if they win, they win the entire darn conference and get that coveted first round bye. So expect old Shauby and Foster to really TAKE IT... to the limit... one more tiiiiimmmmeee... in week 17. haha
Start: Arian Foster, Matt Shaub, Andre Johnson, & Owen Daniels
5. Start ur Broncos- All-American hero, and Prolific Purveyor of Papa-Johns Pizza Peyton Manning, could actually clinch homefield throughout the playoffs if they win their week 17 matchup, and Houston loses. That gives the Broncos all the more reason to continue their streak of awesomeness of the last couple weeks.
Start: Peyton Manning, Knowshon Moreno, Demarius Thomas, Eric Decker, & Jacob Tamme
6. Start ur Packers- The Packers have a first round bye riding on their game with the Vikings, which is surprising considering how suck worthy the Packers have been at times this season. If they lose, they might just be playing the Vikings again in the first round of the playoffs. Which is pretty funny. So, despite the fact that I think Aaron Rodgers looks like a creepy life-sized muppet, get your Packers in your lineup this week.
Start: Aaron Rodgers, Ryan Grant, James Jones, Greg Jennings, & Jermichael Finely
Honorable mentions: Patriots, Baltimore, Giants, Bears, Seattle, San Fran
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